It’s a tough lesson for people to learn…Acceptance.
God talks a lot about acceptance in the bible. One passage that I have found comfort in right now is,
Matthew 6:25-34 25 “Therefore I tell you, do not be anxious about your life, what you will eat or what you will drink, nor about your body, what you will put on. Is not life more than food, and the body more than clothing? 26 Look at the birds of the air: they neither sow nor reap nor gather into barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not of more value than they? 27 And which of you by being anxious can add a single hour to his span of life? 28 And why are you anxious about clothing? Consider the lilies of the field, how they grow: they neither toil nor spin, 29 yet I tell you, even Solomon in all his glory was not arrayed like one of these. 30 But if God so clothes the grass of the field, which today is alive and tomorrow is thrown into the oven, will he not much more clothe you, O you of little faith? 31 Therefore do not be anxious, saying, ‘What shall we eat?’ or ‘What shall we drink?’ or ‘What shall we wear?’ 32 For the Gentiles seek after all these things, and your heavenly Father knows that you need them all. 33 But seek first the kingdom of God and his righteousness, and all these things will be added to you. 34 “Therefore do not be anxious about tomorrow, for tomorrow will be anxious for itself. Sufficient for the day is its own trouble.
I particularly like verse 34. Do not be anxious about tomorrow, for tomorrow will be anxious for itself. I have been stressing much of this month about some of the issues facing my 12-year-old. In the here and now they seem quite weighty. I struggle with my actions as a mother and if I am making some of the right decisions. I know in my heart that I am supporting him in the best way I know how. Is it always right all of the time? No probably not. But it is the best that I know. Accepting that I can only do what I know best in this moment is difficult. I also have been feeling homesick for my old house and friends from Connecticut. I think part of it is the change of seasons. I do not do particularly well this time of year. The darkness that comes early in the evening dims my spirit. Many days because I am still relatively new to this community I can go all day without talking to anyone besides the hubs and my kids. It gets lonely. Winter for me is lonely. I do not particularly like cold weather sports, with the exception of running. So I tend to hunker down inside. But the passage above reminds me not to be anxious about winter coming, stay in the present, do not worry about what lies ahead.
We are also on the cusp of making a home purchase here in MA. It is something that my husband and I have been agonizing about since we moved here last year but more recently in the past 6 months. The purchase of this home is a hard pill for me to swallow. In some ways it solidify’s the fact that we will not be returning to CT. ((Which is playing into my homesickness mentioned above)) It also is not “my dream home”. I have had to get rid of the idea of finding that “dream home” because frankly it doesn’t exist. In some ways I hate pinterest. ((you know the site where you pin all of the things you love, covet and want next…) But sometimes pinterest can make me ungrateful for what I have in the here and now. It skews my ability to see the beauty in the home I have now. Oh I will try to make this into the best version of the home that I want, but I don’t have a true vision for what it can be like my hubby does. We also have never taken on something that needed “so much work” so that makes me anxious and scared.
I had big ideas when we moved. I thought we’d find this sprawling house that I would instantly fall in love with. My hubby and I used to call moving our “upgrade”. Now when the toilet paper holder falls off the wall in our rental home… I say “yea this is an upgrade…NOT”. When we moved it was for work family balance, for a better financial life and job stability. But I must admit I had ideas of grandeur. In my mind it was about having “nicer things, newer things”. Is that selfish? Yea, one could say that. But how many of us can’t say that we are always vying for that next “upgrade”. I know you all have “wanted” something…at some point. It’s the same idea.
But the passage again reminds me that our time on this earth should not be about the things. That god provides all that you need. I do have a wonderful life. In my heart, I do know that. I am so blessed to be able to stay home with my children ((even though some days, I do not act grateful)). I have a roof over my head and clothing and food on my table. My children are, for all intense purposes, thriving here in our new community. They have freedoms and experiences that living in CT just would not have afforded them. So I must stop being anxious and stressing about finding the “dream home”, or looking for my next “upgrade”. The lord led us here to this place, this community and through prayer I do believe we are where he intended us to be.
So this weeks work was about turning my anxiousness over to God. I am going to let the process happen. He has never not provided for me. God has never led me down the wrong path. ((Sometimes I am not sure of the road traveled, but he has always been there to guide me)). So for the past week I have been working with accepting that I am where God intended and I have all that I need…no more, no less.
Do you struggle with acceptance and Gods plan for you? Can you give up your daily anxiety and what would that mean for you? Please share…I’d love to know I’m not the only one.